


You threw it away

by Mertrash



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Monsters, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 07:10:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13758930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mertrash/pseuds/Mertrash
Summary: What were you supposed to do? What would anyone have done in your situation? You weren't anyone special, ultimately it was already too late, he knew it and wasn't fighting, you knew it but more was expected of you.You just stood there, and he just watched you.(In which, John loses a friend.)





	You threw it away

**Author's Note:**

> You called me out, I shrugged you off.

  
"John! Hey, John!"    
  
Oh no. You were looking to avoid him, to avoid this, but now it seemed there wasn't a choice.    
  
No, you could still try. Immediately you take a turn at the corner, heart beginning to twist, pace becoming quicker while one hand grabs at your bag, tugging it closer to your body while hurrying along the street.    
  
"Dude, wait up! Hey一 excuse me, sorry, John!"    
  
He was still coming and there was nothing you could do. Maybe you could ignore him? No, ignoring him only worked over the phone, confrontation was unavoidable at this point.   
  
That wouldn't stop you from trying to get away from him.   
  
It wasn't long before you could see him there in the corner of your eye, right outside of your glasses, his figure walking beside you, head lowering, attempting to look at your face but to that, your cheek turned.   
  
"I don't remember you ever walking this fast before, man, not gonna lie it's totally a dick move but that isn't what I came to say一 why are you ignoring me?" He was straight and to the point, a literal first for Dave.   
  
Your heart drew deeper into your chest, hollowing out a hole for itself in a pitiful attempt to escape but it was too late, your chest was constricting around it, your body felt too tight. You wouldn't have even stepped outside today if it meant you'd be running into him, how were you supposed to know that he was out here? No, he shouldn't even be here at all, didn't he know this was dangerous?   
  
"Seriously? You're going to ignore me in person, too?" He was nearly walking in front of you, just trying to get a look at your face, to have a direct conversation but you weren't having any of it.    
  
"Excuse me, you're in my way," you began, daring to take a large stride forward, gently pushing him aside with a shoulder.    
  
A mistake.   
  
"Whoa whoa whoa," now he was jumping right back in front of you. You try to move past him but he's blocking you completely, putting his arms out, features turning to wrinkles as he continues.    
  
"You can't just leave me hanging like this anymore!" Oh, fuck, he was raising his voice and finally your blank slate cracks, eyes widening, head lifting up to look at him but it's brief. Your eyes are already looking from left to right, noticing a few turned heads, a few stares, perplexed expressions that pierce through your skin.   
  
Funny thing is, they aren't even looking at you and you know it.   
  
They're looking at Dave.   
  
Finally you find it to speak, driven by only one emotion, eyes flashing back to him, "okay, okay, fuck, just calm down一"    
  
You tried, right?   
  
"No, I won't calm down because this is fucking ridiculous and you know it, you've completely dropped me ever since it happened, do you have any idea how I feel? Everyone is gone, Bro, Jade, fuck一 even Rose, of all people! But you? You can't do this to me too, John, I'm still your best bro, you said you'd never do this to me." He draws in a sharp breath and underneath those shades, you can feel the heat of his eyes, staring you down. Are they full of fire? Or had their usual heat faded?   
  
You wish you could have gotten a look.   
  
"You said you were always going to be there for me, man."   
  
All you can do is stare at him for several moments, shoulders dropped, body heavy, your throat feels sickeningly hot and when you open your mouth, no words are able to escape. Your chest, fuck, your chest is on absolute fire and you're certain that somewhere down your throat there's a lump only persisting to swell, the sensation makes you sick.   
  
Dave stands there, arms falling to his sides, you've never witnessed him this tense before一   
  
They're suddenly grabbing him. They come from behind you, meaning Dave could have seen them as they approached, he knew they were coming yet, he hadn't ran.    
  
No, he didn't even fight them as one figure roughly grabbed at his left arm, the other his right and Dave only stared at you.    
  
For a second, you didn't know how they knew. He looked human in every way, what had given him away? His voice had risen enough to gain some stares, but to have them come after him so quickly, to know what he was, how was it possible?    
  
His hands.   
  
Your eyes fluttered towards them as they restrained his arms with ease, long, rigid claws grew from his fingertips一 if you could even call them that. His entire hands were enlarged and considerably darker than the rest of his skin, the gentle freckles you were familiar with weren't to be seen. Those claws looked as though they'd merged with his fingers, there was no distinct separation between finger and claw, he had hands of a monster now.   
  
And as seconds drew on, those monster hands began to consume him.   
  
"John一" They were already yanking him back away from you, shouting at you to get back, muting Dave's words.   
  
It didn't matter anyways, you knew exactly what he'd said.   
  
What were you supposed to do? What would anyone have done in your situation? You weren't anyone special, ultimately it was already too late, he knew it and wasn't fighting, you knew it but more was expected of you.   
  
You just stood there, and he just watched you.   
  
Maybe seeing him start to transform gave you the hope that he himself would act, he was changing so he could fight them and run away, so he could be safe, so he could live but you knew better than that. He'd wasn't going to fight it, those claws didn't dare lash out, the crooked fangs that started to poke out from behind his bottom lips wouldn't bite, you knew he'd never do it.   
  
So why hadn't you acted? What could you have done? You'd go down with him if you tried to help him一 he had the strength to get away, he could do it all on his own!    
  
But he didn't.    
  
They kept coming now, grabbing him from every side, slowly obscuring him from view and now hands were on your shoulders, pulling you away, pulling you to 'safety'.    
  
You were safe, he would never hurt anyone, he promised.   
  
You promised him something too, didn't you?   
  
The thought to act ran through your head endlessly yet, you never willed yourself to do it. You let them drag you away from the 'monster', you let them take the 'monster' away.   
  
You never actually saw him again, after that. You never saw any of your friends much after that, after you told them. You guess you can't blame them, but you had thought they'd never just throw you away like this. How were they any different than you?    
  
They'd shrugged him off too, Dave had told you himself that they'd all left him, you'd only done the same thing so how was it you got all the blame? It wasn't like you did anything wrong, anything different, right?   
  
You thought about Dave a lot. You replayed that scene in your head on a loop, laying in bed, staring at the ceiling yet only seeing that vision.    
  
He had become a monster, what could you have done?    
  
Nothing, there was nothing you could have done. It was over with, and life continues on一 yet, you can't stop thinking about it, about him.    
__  
_You'd really thrown him away, huh?_   
  
It didn't matter now. Too late, it was all too late, you were the monster now and it was too late for you.   
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is heavily, well, ENTIRELY inspired by a song?? It's called Monsters by Electric President, like it's super good and if you listen to it you can see how this was inspired by it! I swear every song called 'monster(s)' is.. good... who doesnt like.. a song 'bout monsters..
> 
> Anyways here's another vague fic k thanks <3


End file.
